So Witty He Was

I went to IKEA to buy an alarm clock yesterday
Used to have two but i broke them by throwing them across the room
Don’t see how you can blame me if i was unconscious
Soddof *looks at ceiling*

I found a lovely one and my non-chinese friend agreed it was leet
So i tip-toed and reached waaaaaaay into the back of the shelf to get a nEW one
While squinting in concentration, a voice piped up,

“Damn chinese man you!”

I burst out laughing so hard i almost fell into the shelf even though he was annoyingly correct

Now let’s talk about the pony
You remember S2 (Strawberry Swirl)?
And how i recently cut her hair?

Well i gave Loga the same pony, except of course that one still has her long hair
I give people ponies sometimes

If i think them worthy

I just gave him the pony yesterday
And do you know *what* i got in my gmail today?!

…

…

This is what you get when you give a pony to a friend working in BAT (British American Tobacco)
He stuck a ciggie to it in the office!!!

*wails*

It’s supposed to be My Little Pony!!!!
Not My Smoking Pony!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I absolutely protest against a foul ciggie even so much as NEAR my pony’s mouth!
Even if it *is* his pony now…

I know you think this is great branding
No
This is great branding
That *points up hysterically* is evil branding!

And look at her hair!! It’s all WILD and pontianak-like!
That’s not how you brush your pony’s hair!!
She looks more like she just got stoned and turned hippy!!!!

*wails fading as fairy flies off in agony*

I Like Them Bigger Than

My Hand Can Hold

This was on New Year’s Eve
I know, i know… i haven’t put up jackshit of NYE pics yet… no time!
I’ve been rushing from work to home (to do more work), than out (take photos) than back home (to do more work)

Even woke up early today to do some work.
Now it’s just workworkwork
But where’s the money?! I’m not seeing much yet -_-

Next to me is Calvin
He’s back in Kuantan
And Jason is in S’pore
I miss them both 
Hurry up and come back dammit!

I love this picture
You wouldn’t need to wonder why now, would you.

Random Joyce Affairs

The Sms I Sent Daddy

Daddy took the Exilim with him to HongKong
Hence no party pics from this week
Pity
Cos many a FarewellBirthdayAlco ones there were

I sent him an sms:
Hey can you pls buy me Malibu at the airport… Plsssss… Do you want this poster of 8 gold carp and 1 gold carp from Dunhill? Quite nice.

Cos really
He’s into the whole feng shui thing and i thought he might fancy it

He replied:
That’s an expensive barter to me.

But he bought me it anyway
I thought he wouldn’t cos he didn’t the last time i asked
Gave it to me while saying
“You’re going to drink yourself to death.”
“No i’m not… anyway i don’t drink at home anymore.”
*cough*

The Orgy That Disturbed

I was online
Someone was telling me how he got invited for a gay orgy
I tried not to have too many mental images in my head and typed
You know i’m open-minded so go ahead if you want and i’ll still love you
I went offline

Dreamt awful awful awful things
A tree house where they drugged the poor boy
Everyone, male and female, performed disgusting things on him by turn
As i watched from the window
Of the innocent-looking tree house

I woke up traumatised
To that friend of mine,
Don’t tell me shit like that before i sleep again!
EVER!

The Alco Adoration

Went to some far-away place for Tarry’s birthday dinner
CrayfishCrabFishSquid had we
Chee Hooi’s adoration for todi
Is amazingly like mine for Malibu

Y’know how i hop around offering ppl, “MaliBU?! MaliBU?!”
He does the same
Only it goes, “ToDI?! ToDI?!”

The Present That Made Me Laugh

Jason gave me my Christmas present in a Johnnie Walker paperbag
How very him
He always jokes that one day, there will be Jason Walker whiskey

In the paperbag was a pretty red box
And in the pretty red box, was my christmas note and pressies

I read the note

Joyce, Merry Xmas and looking forward to New Year! Anyway, hope you like your gift, if not, go fuck yourself… choose wisely…

I was like  
Huh? What cock is he writing now… whatever
*looks inside box*

OhmygodhegotmeVictoria’sSecretstufffromUS!
Jason knows i love this scent cos i asked him to buy me some perfume before when he was in NYC
As i was happily admiring the lovely sight before me
Something caught my eye….

I gingerly lifted it out
Strange…
The first random words that were registered into my brain were
Plastic… slippery… ew… orange?

ROTTING CARROT?!

The moment it hit me
I burst out laughing for a good full minute….

Happy Birthday Sabri!

Mooky had a bad vibe about me going clubbing this week
For once
He made me promise not to go
His hoarse traumatic voice gave me no other alternative
So i swore on fairies i wouldn’t

Went to The Ivy for Sabri’s birthday dinner
Since when
Do people give out presents to others on their birthday?
That’s just too nice…
*feels spoilt*

Then i went to Frangi & Hemingways

Which is not clubbing

And i heard Adam Beyer’s set was awesome too. Bah.