I didn’t

go partying on Saturday night
Everyone is amazed and caught off-guard
I just didn’t feel like it
The most surprising thing about me when i’m depressed is that i have no urge to drink
I know right,
Joyce doesn’t want to drink?
Call the hospital somebody
Just thinking about a glass in front of me makes me want to reach my hand out and slowly push it away

Quite the contradiction to other people who head straight for the bars/bottle when they’re blue, isn’t it

I remember forcing myself to go out when upset before
And i do drink
But i just sip a bit here and there and go home feeling as if going out had no difference on anything and everything sucked and could go down the drain for all i fucking care including the alcohol

In my opinion it’s obviously better if i don’t drink when depressed
So that then i don’t end up doing anything dramatic and tragic
Isn’t that true?
Of course then it occurs to you that the reason i drink so much is cos i’m usually ecstatic…

It sucks being in an okay mood
Listening to emo chinese songs and then stumbling onto your thoughts
Istumbletoocosi’msoafraidilostyoucrycrycrycrycry