Tiff Outside My House

I woke up bright and early on Monday morning to hype myself up for work
Humming to myself, i let myself out the front door only to be greeted by…

A big fucking spread out MESS of garbage in my front porch.

I whipped my head around to look for the culprit
He scampered off immediately knowing he was in deep shit

I growled softly and stepped forward to inspect the damage
Plastic bags, chicken bones and unused meat, torn-up coffee sachets
Garbage garbage garbage
Was just  s p r e a d  out

A total eye-sore
I looked at the time
My mother sure stress if she comes back to behold this

So i bunched up my long skirt between my legs like an ah poh
Reached out for the broom
And started sweeping the damn thing up
Raw chicken flesh sticks to gravel, btw *growl*

Once everything was back in the garbage bag
I turned around to see the guilty staring at me
He ran back into his hiding place
I went to him

“Come here.”
“No.”
“You come here. Right now.”
“No.”
“Fine. Thanks to you, my effort of waking up early was wasted. You. Had. Better. NOT. Mess up the place again. If i come back and it’s all out here again, you’re going to get a big tight smack from me.”
“…”
“Do you understand?”

I stood back up to see my neighbour staring at me having a full-on conversation with my dog.

---

 

Bimbotic Fairy Line Of The Day:
“I think my tits are bigger today… I can’t see certain places cos it’s blocking. Woo…”

Bullshit Pug Line Of The Day:
“I drink with a conscious mind.”

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Wishing You All Orgasms For Life

September is chock full of birthdays
So here is my shoutout

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Happy 24th to

PassedOutBen

I guess we’ve been through so much nonsense, fun, drunkardness, emo-ness and escapades that i can’t possibly write it down all here.
 

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Happy 23rd to

KinkyPugKevin

Don’t be so depressive on your blog can or not. Read also can die.
We parTAY this Friday!

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Happy (oops forgot how old) Birthday to

RyanSoosayRaj

I know you’re doing fantastic in London and i’m so fucking proud of you.
Love always.

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Happy 22nd to

DebbieOng

Sorry couldn’t make it to your session tonight. It was the boyfriend’s mother’s birthday as well   0_o 
So that one cannot challenge ya?

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*phew*

That’s done
And that only covers this weekend
0_o

Getting all emo thinking about all my friends
While  listening to slow songs
While  resting after a long week
Sure cannot make it, right?

I just read an email AshleyTheMonkey sent me
Made me laugh out loud twice cos i can imagine how stu-piD you are saying certain things to me
… miss you damn alot

This is the first time in ages i’ve just sat down and chilled out in front of my pc with the fan blowing at my right shoulder at 2 am
I’ve definitely been spending alot of time out of home
Dreams of my family dying have made me cry in my sleep before
Then AdamPoserPan will hug me and tell me it’s okay cos it’s only a nightmare

But then
I shouldn’t take the nightmare for granted and spend as much time with the people i love most in the world, true?

Yup

*reads back*

Wah
Damn emo wei this post
Can die
0_o