Friends. Coming together. Growing apart. Riding a wavelength.

Comments (8) Emo, Personal Development

Went for lunch with AnnaCanBeatMeUp and GarfieldChak.
Was so happy stuffing my face with Indian food,
while the other two spoke about their cult gym *psst…pushmore*

anna rina

They were saying how lucky i was for being so skinny
while eating so much all the time.
And then trying to convince me to try Pushmore (again! how many times must i say no!)

AnnaCanBeatMeUp claimed that i was too chicken to try it,
and even started clucking and flapping her buff arms slightly (see how crazy these pushmore people are -_-)

Indignant me had to retaliate that ’twas not fear but dislike.
Dahlah time is so precious, why do something which i know i won’t enjoy!
Stop asking me to join Pushmore! Grrrr   :xcensored:

anna rina

I really enjoyed lunch that day,
and how i didn’t have to think when i spoke to them.
Realised that as we three are freelancers, hence riding the same wavelength, definitely contributed to it!

If i were to talk about how free i am during the daytime to other friends who are working full-time,
they’d just stare cock at me like i should shrivel up and die right there.

I was thinking lately about how we choose the people we hang out with.
And what changes our choices, as we change.

I don’t blame anyone when a friendship dies.
I don’t blame the other person.
I don’t blame myself.
I think it’s all about connection.

When i was in corporate, i’d enjoy talking the same things as the people i worked with,
what we spend out money on,
what we want to buy next,
office jokes, gossip and drama.

When i left, it’s not like i didn’t want to see them anymore,
but our schedules changed.
And it’s a bit weird to talk about completely different things and expect the other party to understand where you’re coming from.
Most of them wanted the promotion + car + house + thriving future business.
I wanted to splash all my money traveling the world -_-

(okay so now i’ve splashed my money traveling the world, i’m thinking of earning MORE money to travel some more and ALSO have the nice place to live with the interior of insanity that i desire)

When i was working for Tongue in Chic,
the peeps in the fash industry and i would talk about the designs we just saw at the recent fashion show,
who paid more money to appear on which runway,
whose business was suffering poor thing cos designers just have it so difficult here.

And when i left TIC, i didn’t see them as much,
because fashion wasn’t my job anymore.
It was now a hobby.
And maybe some people didn’t think they should be canoodling with me when i wasn’t managing editor anymore.
Which was fine by me   :xhappy: That’s life.

There are some people i still take the effort to see and have a proper talk to,
and others i’ve just let go.
Cos when we did meet up, it’d feel like a social obligation of sorts,
with neither party inspiring nor entertaining the other.
Because our lifestyles have changed,
the things we place importance on have changed,
attitudes changed.
So… if you’re not comfortable hanging out anymore, why force it?

I’m writing this cos someone was telling me about an old friend of hers.
These two friends would hang out of old times’ sake and it took her years to realise that sometimes, you just have to let go because not all friendships can stand the test of time.

I scrunched my face up in shock when she told me the things her ‘old friend’ would say to her.
No proper friend will say things to make you feel horrible when what you’re doing is nothing near horrible.
If you deserve a reality check, than yes, it’s a true friend.
But if this person brings you down all the time,
it’s time to reflect how much positivity this person brings to you, and vice versa.

I was trying to categorize the people i think of fondly and would still like to hang out with,
and came to a conclusion that the friends i made at TAG during its infamous Loft days circa 2005 are the kind of people i like to see more often.
They’re happy people, mostly creative, drink a lot   :xlaughing: ,
are never bitter nor negative,
and just full of love.

I miss TAG @ the loft   :xbummed:

… Digressed   :xwhatevah:

What i’m saying is, reflect on the people you surround yourself with,
and the kind of friend you want to be as well.

Do they speak negatively of other people?
Do they complain about everything every day every aspect?
Do they talk about how little they have and how others have it better?
Anyone someone out there will have something everything better than us.
It’s from which angle we look at it.

Do they make you laugh?
Do they stretch your imagination and inspire you?
Do they make you dream further faster crazier better?
Do they tell you new pieces of information for you to learn of when you see them?
Do they teach you how to see things in Life from a different better funnier angle?

I’m not bitchin, just sayin’.

I’m not a perfect friend myself,
and am thinking of ways i can make myself better.

AshleyTheMonkey told me i’m more irritable nowadays.
“Really?!”
“Yeah.”
“Shit. Why, you think?”
“Dunno, maybe it’s age.”
“Thanks   :xwhatevah:

So i’m also making a list of things i should do to be a better friend and person.

1. NOT BE SO IRRITATED   :xsurprised:

2. Smile more more more.
The other day, this little old lady smiled at me randomly in Ikea, and i felt all ‘awww’ and warm and fuzzy inside. It’s amazing how a smile can go a long way and make a person’s day. So i’m going to try to smile more at strangers (in a nonfreaky way)

3. Be more patient.
I can be really impatient sometimes. I blame it on my Arien star sign – independent, impulsive, impatient. Think sometimes i should just take a few seconds to go ‘woooshaaaa’ and observe the situation before thinking / saying anything.

4. Do the things i say i’d do.
Like burning pictures/songs for people who’ve been asking for them for years   :roll:

Hmm what else. Damn. So hard to be objective and think of all the bad things you do (cos maybe you don’t actually know it).

Take a few minutes to think about how you can be a better friend.
What’s your list like?   :xwinky:

8 Responses to Friends. Coming together. Growing apart. Riding a wavelength.

  1. Jessie Lem says:

    a great note on friendship ! 🙂 sometimes life is just too short to please everybody, especially people that you don’t even intend to please at all. rather be real and *coughs*evil*coughs* than fake a friendship.

  2. Cathy says:

    No one else described what i’m feeling right now better than you in this post! So thank you! 🙂
    Remember how we use to write in autographs “friendship remains and never can end”? 🙂
    if only it’s the case, then life would be so much simpler!

  3. Cheri Low says:

    Hi! This post is really insightful. It hurts when we realise we have to let the friendship go but sometimes its for the better. (Platonic) relationships are so difficult to maintain. Lookin forward on more of your posts. p.s. i’m a student heading to london soon 😉

  4. melmonica says:

    Another great post written by you! I know how you feel cos I have a bestie throughout my high school and we swore that we’ll be there for each other forever & ever (very de ji mui type)

    Then when I left for uni in East Malaysia, we rarely see each other and that is when she & I grew apart.

    Our thinking, interest, source of entertainment no longer the same. Now I understand why this happened and it is not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just how life is.

    Thanks Joyce for this post. Cheerios~

  5. Eliza says:

    this post really spoke to me for some reason … 🙂 maybe at some time or another when people grow up (and change) they just start drifting apart unintentionally … 🙁
    always found ur blog to be very inspiring… 😀 and reading your posts and musings about life/love/traveling from even post-TIC-internship days somewhat gave me a bit of guts and inspiration to manage my online shop full-time … which was smth I’d always *thought* about but never really dived in, cos it isn’t as conventional or safe as a full-time 9-5 job 😀

  6. ShaolinTiger says:

    Beautiful post Joyce, I guess a lot of people will be able to identify with this.

    And yah some friendships just don’t last, after a while you find out that person perhaps isn’t who you thought they were.

    Or you’ve changed and they haven’t, or vice versa.

    Times change, friends change – but the thing you said that I truly believe is that you should surround yourself with positive people that inspire you and make you happy.

    BTW I think Anna can beat me up too :/

  7. Vern says:

    I really like this entry of yours. Direct, down-to-earth and so true. Some sort of a reality check needed by everyone of us once in a while.

    Friendships don’t always turn out the way we want them to be. If we can, patch things up. If need be, move on. And we then continue to become better friends to other people. =)

  8. JoyceTheFairy says:

    jessie: yeah forget about layaning the fake/or being fake. takes too much effort 😉

    cathy: that was an unexpected comment! thank YOU

    cheri: you’re gonna have a blast in london 🙂

    melmonica: well there’s that ending, and there can be a completely different ending too – the type of friendship where you don’t see each other for years but still click, those are nice 🙂

    eliza: i’m happy to see you’re doing well with your online shop! 🙂 and life… hey go with the flow as best we can!

    ST: haha thanks! yes i think anna can beat lots of people up…. *psst pushmore cult!*

    vern: well said!

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