‘S’ is for Selfish
Selfish is when you do whatever you want to
without taking into account other people’s feelings

‘S’ is for Spoilt
Spoilt is when you can’t finish your RM40 beef gumbo
and feed it to your cocker spaniel instead
Note: Cocker spaniel is therefore spoilt

‘S’ is for Sucky
Sucky is waking up early on your day off
Because Mr. and Mrs. Phlegm decide to take a stroll down Throat Lane
Kicking up a coughing storm

‘S’ is for Sounding
Like how i kena sounding for having too many clothes till they spill (hey that’s another ‘S’ word!) out of my cupboard
Unto my bed
And rack
And basket
And they’re all clean by the way

‘S’ is for Salah
Salah is when you walk into the pharmacy to buy pills to aid your decaying memory
and you forgot the name of the pills to buy -_-

 

The Worst Insult
is not  when your friend won’t let you keep an eye on his child for a tad

It’s not  when your friend who’s a dad-to-be widens his eyes at the mere thought of you taking care of his baby daughter, when she’s not even born yet

It’s when your two gay friends won’t let you do the same either

DoorBitchIvan: Never. I’d never leave my child in your hands. *looks to sky bitchily*
KinkyPugKevin: Oh my god yeah. No no no no *shakes head*
Me: What?! Whatttt?!?! Why not?!
Both of them: *shaking heads simultaneously*
Me: You guys can’t even HAVE your own kids!! *mengamuk*
DoorBitchIvan: Well, we can. Or when we do, you won’t be left alone with them.
Me: … I’m insulted! You asked me whether i would consider being your surrogate mother! And i felt so honoured then!!!
DoorBitchIvan: Being a surrogate mother doesn’t mean taking care of them darling.

*keels over*