“Happy 3rd Birthday to our love!”

That’s what Clem said to me this morning, hehe so cute.
Today is our 3rd anniversary!
Well, we decided that our anniversary should be the day of our first date + hand-holding.

I’m actually really terrible at remembering our anniversary…

Early last week, Clem asked me: “Shall we go to ——- for dinner?”
Me: Why…? *is there an event? we have a voucher?*
Clem: Cos it’s the 20th…
Me: Uh huh…. -_- *getting impatient*
Clem: It’s our ANNIVERSARY!!!!
Me: OHHHH!!!! YESSSSSS Hahaha sorry!!  I *KNOW* it’s the 20th!

On Sunday night, Clem asked: “So what are we doing this Wednesday?”
Me: What’s this Wednesday? *panicking* event? we meeting someone?
Clem: *pretends to cry into his pillow* Why do you never remember….
Me: *it hits me* HAHAHAHA I’M SORRY BAYBEE!!!! 

I’m quite impressed that Clem and i have been dating for three years.
Well, impressed cos this is my longest relationship i’ve ever been able to hold on to,
all the others had a life span of a year and half.
So this makes it twice as long as most of the relationships i’ve had!

It doesn’t feel long tho… i feel like we’ve been together for a year or two.
:p Which may be… a good thing?!

 

Sometimes people ask me how Clem and i met, especially when they’re feeling down about not having met their special someone yet. I always tell them: When you meet the right person, you break all the rules.

We learn all these ‘things we should or should not do’ when we’re dating people.
You should let the guy call you.
You shouldn’t sleep with him for the first month.
You must let him pay.
You shouldn’t see him every day cos he’ll take you for granted.
Etc.
You know what i mean.

They’re all stupid rules.
They’ve been conjured by obsessed women about finding the ‘right one’.

When i met Clem, i didn’t abide to any of those rules…
Oh, i met him at Milcah’s birthday party btw.

For our first date, i asked him out cos i really really liked him.
So much to the point i fantasized about him coming home from work while i’m cooking, and then he’ll take me on the sofa.
Hahaha. I still remember telling Rudy my fantasy about Clem and he was like, “Girl, you are in trouble.”

Yeah, so i initiated our first meet-up to ‘have a drink’.
Then thought it might be less pressure on him if other people were around so i suggested going to Changkat to meet Aps and Fai, and Clem smsed back saying he’d rather not go. I panicked thinking ‘WHY!? Oh MAN he doesn’t want to go out with me…” And someone suggested ‘maybe he wants to be alone with you, and not with your friends around.’

So i canceled with Aps and smsed Clem that if he’d like, we could have a drink just the two of us, and he said okay and we went to Somo where we had a few drinks, talked a lot and had a lot of fun just sitting there.

Later that night, we went back to his place nearby to have another drink cos Somo shut,
and it got so late that i decided to sleep over.
This is when the inner Charlotte in me shrieked, “NO! You only stay over a man’s place after two weeks or dating, at least!” But i just didn’t want to leave… So he lent me some pajamas, and we lay in bed and held hands and fell asleep with Amiina playing on my ipod. We didn’t kiss even and it was just so nice.

I remember falling asleep and feeling like i was enveloped in LOVE.
Like, i could feel this shape-shifting bubble around me and us.
It was such an amazing feeling.
I’ll never forget my first night at his place.

And after that night… i just never went home.

We’ve been staying together every night since.

:)

We moved into our first apartment together early last year, but now that’s too small (for all my clothes and toys haha) so we’ll be moving again soon.

I have changed so much since i met Clem.

First of all, i never used to fear death. Now i kinda do. I know i shouldn’t but i do. I fear not being able for us to be next to each other anymore. And then i fear who will die first. At first i wanted myself to die first so that i won’t have the pain of not having him with me. But then i couldn’t bear the thought of him being sad without me so… i think i don’t mind if he dies first, cos i feel i can be strong without him. I pacify myself with the thought that at least i got to spend some time time with him in this lifetime.

That inner psyche was the first change… then came the other small things like wanting to cook, and be a better person. I used to be the (so-called) feminist who’d be all “No! i’m not your cook and maid!” to previous boyfriends. But with Clem, i feel like i just want to take care of him and us. (So cheesy, sorry.)

From being a pampered spoilt girlfriend, i’ve become this person who wants to be responsible for the cooking and cleaning and washing.

I don’t know what happened -_-

It just er fell into place and i WANTED to colour code our laundry, cook yummy meals for us at night, and make sure the house is clean for us. I cleaned the apartment *once*. It took me so long then i reckoned it was economically more viable to hire a cleaner to do it and i watch her while *i* work to earn more money.

Besides the household stuff, being in this relationship taught me to be compromising with each others’ habits. I used to get SO mad at him when he’d come home at 6am after a night with the boys. Then after a few times of that, i realised that it’s because i was conforming to expectations of how a ‘proper’ couple is supposed to be – that noone is supposed to come home late. The thing is, i KNOW what it’s like to party till late, cos i love it too! And if i want to expect to keep on being able to be myself, then i have to let him be himself as well.

So now i don’t bother if he goes out with the boys. He always tells me who he’s with and the moment he mentions Rahul’s or Deep’s names, i know he’ll be back late -_- and i have my own night with the girls or some alone time at home.

For my side, I love that Clem allows me to travel by myself. I know LOTS of other men who wouldn’t dream of letting their partners travel alone. The most important thing is that he trusts me. I’m quite sure it’s because of his family upbringing, and how everyone is allowed to travel by themselves. I mean, i wish i could have him traveling with me cos i missed him so much when i went to Europe for months, but he couldn’t cos of work, but at least i could still go and have all these wonderful experiences.

… Ok that ended up to be a long babbling post about us.
In the end i don’t know how long we will stay together. I can also be a realist and feel that for a couple to sustain for years and years, both people need to evolve and grow in the same direction. So… i just hope the both of us will make our way down the same path for as long as we can.

:)

 

 

13 Replies to “Happy 3rd Birthday to our love!”

  1. Grace says:

    That was a really nice story of how you two met :) I hope you guys will be together forever and have little Cloyce babies!

  2. ann says:

    I almost wept at the death part . Thanks for sharing your story !♥

  3. bulats says:

    Good cheesy post :’) To more wonderful days ahead that will be sweet memories in old age~

  4. smalls says:

    awww how sweet :) i really like clem ! he is hilarious and i can tell he knows you so well and accepts you for all that you are, crazy and everything xx

  5. Mellissa says:

    Truth is, I found your post very much similar to mine. The right person always make you a better person (so I do too picked up cooking and making many traditional stuff)…
    You are lucky to have your man around you… Happy anniversary to the both of you…

  6. Memer says:

    My Fairy! It’s nice to read this story of how both of you met. Wishing you guys forever love! xoxo

  7. Ru Yan says:

    So lovely. Thank YOU. :)

  8. ipohgal says:

    really really sweet post!!! here’s wishing you both many many happy memories and years together. may your love for each other grow n grow!

  9. Elsie says:

    Wishing you n Clem much love n happiness in many many years to come. U guys r like peas in a pod. Love to see those couple posts.

  10. HHLess says:

    OMG, my husband said the same thing about the death part to me when we were dating! He said he’d rather I go first so I won’t suffer if he’s not around. And I hate it when he says all this shit, coz I don’t want to think about it!

    I remember in one of your posts you mentioned that you really really want this guy to like you back and that you wrote all about it in your other private blog. Was it Clem?

  11. Chrisy says:

    Hey Joyce! Thank you for this inspiring post! I for one have often question myself on ‘the right things to do in order to get the one’ and this post truly showed me that if we really love something we should just go for it! :) thank you for being an inspiration always. Cheers to many many tens of years to come for you and Clem! <3

  12. ursula says:

    I’ve been reading your blog since you won Best Lifestyle Blog at the Nuffnang awards but I hardly comment. I’ve to say though, this post is my fave post so far, & I’m so glad you guys found each other! Congratulations on your third year together! (:

  13. [...] was reading Kinkybluefairy’s blogpost about her anniversary and this is what she wrote about finding the one: Sometimes people ask me how [...]

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