I have been led to believe that i needed to get this done in order to find dots to the whole answer i am looking for. One month ago i wouldn’t even have known what past life regression therapy was if you’d asked me. But for some peculiar reason, it has been coming into my space, the most obvious being an occasion when the words were being said aloud to my face. Even then, i still ignored it. When the desire in me to know became so strong, i went online to find out if there was one in KL.
I easily found a blogpost review of someone’s experience doing it, ironically, at a centre shy of 10 mins drive from where i live. I booked myself the next available appointment (a week from then), and started a detox 3 days prior, feeling i could be a bit ‘cleaner’ when i went for it.
A friend said that it was of utmost importance that i feel comfortable with the place and the therapist before moving forward, and i put it into memory. When i reached the centre, it looked and felt legit. There were books on spiritual awakening, and pamphlets on curing all sorts of conditions via hypnosis in stands.
I filled out a simple form, and entered the Dr’s office to find a tanned, smiley Chinese man of over 50. He reminded me of Uncle Laitong and the realisation that i liked him immediately put my heart at ease.
I was eager to start. And daftly assumed it could be started on the get go.
“No!” said the Dr, “Your past memories are like millions of files. Going into them to search blindly, is like going onto Google and not typing in search words.”
“I love the way you described it. OK, i totally get it now.”
A drawn out conversation was had before we began.
I was asked to sit in a relaxed position with my eyes closed on a comfortable chair, yet with my back straight so my chakras are aligned. The Dr. got me into a state of calm, to get me into that state between consciousness and subconsciousness. The whole time i could think. And i must have conveniently forgot that he *did* mention my being conscious, cos i started thinking that it wasn’t working, as he brought my visualisation through tunnels and space.
Man i don’t think this is working… what a waste of money!
*small tinier voice* Can’t believe i thought this could work
*louder voice* Oh just try. Just TRY. You’re already here …
So i tried harder. I called upon my angels to assist me.
Kwan Yin, Abundathia, Tara, Isis and… dammit. I forgot your name again. The fifth one. Sorry! I’ll go back and check later… (See my memory is bad even with my angels! I found out later it’s Artemis.)
When the Dr figured i had gone through enough tunnels and whatnot, i was asked to look down.
So i did.
Dr: What do you see?
I was thinking, “What do i see? I see nothing cos my eyes are closed -_- Things are blurry.” But instead of being openly negative, i replied, “Nothing… Urm…”
Dr: Take your time… What do you see?
From the beginning of the session, i was told to say whatever appears in my mind first.
Go with my instinct.
At the time, i replied joyfully, “Oh i love that game!”
But as everything was going on, i FORGOT that i was supposed to do that cos it was a bit surreal and i was trying not to panic or have disbelief in me. Which when i write down now, sounds ironically silly that the FACT i had to cast off my fears it would not work, i was in turn sabotaging my own hypnosis. (But i’m okay with that, i’m only human and tried the best i could then.)
I tried to be calm, and looked down as he requested. I saw some blobs take shape, it was like a distorted cylinder with two bumps at the end. I realised that i was looking down at my legs and feet. Or what was supposed to be my legs and feet except they didn’t look like my usual ones.
Me: Slippers. I’m wearing slippers. And a sarong.
Dr: Is your hair long or short?
Before i could conjure up putting my hands up to my head, i KNEW that i was wearing a turban.
I KNEW what my physical appearance was but had no idea my name nor location.
I was an old Indian man. It felt SO weird but NOT.
I’m in the room, yet i’m elsewhere. I’m in two places at once.
It was like a dream but different.
Dr: What do you see in front of you?
Me: A cupboard on the right, a mirror next to it
Dr: What is behind you?
Me: The door. I’m in my house. It’s really small, just one room.
Nothing was happening there, which the Dr. did comment on prior: “Sometimes you can see a memory but it can be really boring. Nothing could be happening, it could be a daily part of life.”
We moved on from the house, and i saw myself in a market.
There were colourful fruits of yellow and orange on the stalls. The ground was a dusty brown, almost russet. A small crowd of people were milling around, walking up and down. I had a cow with me. I was taking her somewhere. We walked, and arrived at a small pale yellow house. It was a pretty, well-kept place, with washing hanging on the left of it. There was a wooden door.
Inside, was a young woman cooking. I knew immediately she was my daughter.
She nagged me. And i sat down at the table in the middle of the kitchen without arguing back.
I think it was at this point when my arms in real life started feeling REALLY heavy.
I just felt like there was a block of concrete on my lap in the Dr.’s room.
I voiced it out to him and he said, “You’re coming back into your consciousness too much. Go back. Go back… now!” And he snapped his fingers.
I felt the slight compulsion to giggle after he snapped his fingers cos i was thinking, “Urm nothing happened…” but he did manage to get the heaviness off me, and i continued my vision. Four men came into the house, and they threatened my daughter. After that they left and we continued as per normal.
I feel like i lied to the Dr. after i envisioned the four men coming in. I thought they might kill her and i was afraid, so i said that they threatened her instead of whatever else might have happened should i have been truthful. Looking back, i wish i didn’t have that fear in me, i could have discovered something else. But never mind. Maybe it was meant to be.
Dr: The love that you feel, is that what you have with your daughter?
Me: … no.
Dr: Think of that love, imagine how you feel.
So i did. And i had a second vision.
There was a young Indian woman sitting RIGHT in front of me. She was so close to me i could see all the features of her face clearly. It was startling. She was wearing a bright red sari, prominent eyeliner, and her entire body was adorned with jewelry. She was such a beautiful fascinating sight!
Dr: What do you see?
I started crying in the room. I could feel the hot tears running down my face in the Dr.’s room, even as i stared at this woman. She was my wife. I love her so much!
I didn’t answer for awhile, and the Dr had to ask again, what do you see?
Me: It’s my wife. It’s our wedding day…
I was totally emotional. I don’t think i expected to feel this way for someone in a vision. Or to find this stranger and feel so much love, yet she was not a stranger.
We were getting married in a desert, with tall trees and brown animals (i presume to be camels but i’m not sure cos they were on the sides and a bit blurry). We were standing in the middle of a crowd, there were so many people, all dressed up, celebrating. Everyone was happy.
Dr: Step out of the body you’re in. Look at it from another angle, like above.
I easily did it, and i saw myself. I was a very handsome Indian man!
Dr: What can you learn from this vision?
Me: Don’t have a wedding in the desert.
I could hear the dr laughing, “Hahaha, why not?”
Me: It’s really dusty.
Dr: Ok, what lessons do you FEEL the couple are getting from the Universe?
I focused on the question, and waited… the answer coming to me like a *feeling* which sprung from the centre of me and passed through my lips in simple words:
Just do it.
Take care and be safe.
We have lots to do.
I didn’t understand yet i understood.
I didn’t get my answer yet i did.
It’s something that i can’t explain in words but i’ll try.
I went there in search of a specific answer, yet being subconsciously open to fact that it was not about finding the answer, but going through the motions that made me realise the answer to another question that wasn’t even asked.